Porter is going to be three years old in only one month’s time.  Let’s start the monthly update before I start crying wondering where my baby went…

 What Porter Is Wearing:

• Size 6 diapers…I got him to wear a pull-up once last weekend (size 2T-3T) which was a major accomplishment!
• Size 2T and 3T in shirts but some brands of 3T are still WAY too big.
• With the exception of one pair or 2T pants, all pants are still 24 month size.  This is strictly due to length.  Most 2T pants are too long on him.
• 2T pajamas still fit him perfectly.
• Now in size 8 shoes.

• Fruit
• Celery
• Cucumber
• Cheese
• Pickles
• Crackers
• Hot dogs
• Salami
• Tacos
• Peanuts
• Sunflower seeds
• He now requests “crunchy chicken”–he no longer will eat chicken without a coating on it.  In fact recently he is barely eating chicken at all.
• Cereal in a bowl with milk and a spoon (this is major!)
• Still won’t touch pizza, macaroni and cheese or grilled cheese
• He pretty much won’t touch anything else.  When do kids outgrow the picky eating phase again…?

What Porter Is Saying:

• Porter is talking non-stop these days and he is saying some incredibly funny things…here is an example:

Me: (after getting Porter out of the bath tub) Look, your fingers are all pruny.

Porter:  My fingers are all wrinkly–just like Daddy!

• He has started adding in “t” sounds to words.  Didn’t is now Didtint.
• Overall he is becoming more expressive and conversational.  Tonight I asked him to pick a book for me to read at bedtime and he walked over to the bookshelf and said, “Oh The Cat in the Hat!  This is perfect!”

What Porter Likes These Days:

• Being outside!
• Thomas and Friends “Rescue on the Rails.”
• Trains, trains, trains.
• Did I mention trains?
• Giving hugs and kisses.
• Going to the car wash.
• Bubbles.
• Talking.  A lot.
• Pretending.

What Porter Doesn’t Like These Days:

• Using the potty at home at any other time besides bath time.
• Pull-ups.
• Underwear.
• Most food we want him to eat.

What Porter Is Doing:

• Being sneaky.  While I was sick last week I caught him using his Elmo step stool to try to reach cookies on the counter, he managed to steal my flash drive from my computer and my notebook for work (both were in his room.)  This was all in that matter of an hour’s time.  Last weekend, I was in the shower for all of seven minutes and I came out to discover him upstairs (totally off-limits without me or Aaron to supervise) rummaging around in my bedroom.
• He is doing really well on the potty at daycare.  There have even been some days during which he stays dry all day and uses the potty successfully each time!  But he had an off week this week and we still aren’t progressing at home (other than the bathtime potty try.)
• He has moments during which he is obstinate and demanding.  I’m seeing glimpses of the “Terrible Threes” I keep hearing so much about…
• Porter likes to help me feed the cats.

What We Are Working On:

• As always, potty potty potty.
• Picking up his own toys/mess.
• I want him to be more involved with dressing himself , but he has no interest.

Since Aaron and I are working almost every weekend in April, we are only going to have a small, small get-together for Porter’s birthday.  A few family friends, snacks and cake.  Then at the end of April we are taking a trip up to NY to see my parents.  Unfortunately with work and the rising gas prices, we really can’t afford to give Porter the big shin-dig he deserves.  But I do think he will definitely have a Thomas the Tank Engine cake!

One of the best things about Porter at this age is his ultra-active imagination.  It is incredible to hear him come up with story lines, characters, voices – all weaving together this very real scenario in his head.  This happens everyday, several times a day.  It is just him entertaining himself.

One of my favorite so far happened as I was making dinner the other night.  Aaron and Porter just came home and I was already in the kitchen cooking.  Porter went to his room and closed the door.  Aaron was reading mail at the dining room table.  The following scene took place:

Porter: (making a noise like a European police siren) weee-ooo, weee-ooo, wee-ooo  Oh no!  Dat’s the phone in the kitchen Santa brought for me!

(The sound of running footsteps.  Porter flings open his bedroom door.)

Porter:  Phone is ringing!  I get it!

(Porter runs from his bedroom, down the hall, passed the kitchen and to his play kitchen in the corner of the dining room.  He has one shoe and sock on and one foot is totally bare.)

Porter (answering his fake phone):  Helwo?  Hi Papa.  I can’t talk now.  I taking off my shoes.  Okay.  Bye!  (hangs up phone.)

(Porter runs back into his bedroom.  He closes the door.)

And scene.

And stuff like this happens All. Day. Long.

It is amazing.  I love being a parent.

Just a note: The blog was hacked this week.  Not cool.  My husband and our hosting service have got most things back to normal, but there are still a few kinks to work out.  Please be patient during this process and if you notice anything weird (other than that title in the wrong place in the header above) please let us know.  Thank you and down with internet scum!!!

Now where was I?

Oh yeah, Porter turned 34 months old on Wednesday which means we are just a mere two months away from his third birthday!

What Porter is Wearing:

• Slowly growing out of his 2T shirts.  He needs more 3T shirts STAT.
• Even though he is 34 months, his 24 month pants still fit well.  He wears one pair of pants that are 2T.
• He wears 2T pajamas right now, but he’ll be out of those in about two months.
• Still in size 5 diapers (more on our potty progress later.)
• Just about to bust out of his size 7 shoes.

What Porter is Eating:

• We have entered the “This is your dinner: take it or leave it” phase of parenthood.  We use to give him dinner and then if he refused it we may give him something else later.  I use to worry that he wasn’t eating enough or thought that he would wake up hungry.  I’m passed that now.  He needs to be eating what we are eating.  His pickiness is getting ridiculous.
• He is now refusing to eat chicken and beef.  He pretty much won’t eat any meat that isn’t deli meat, hot dogs or bacon–all of which is loaded with junk.
• Still refuses to eat pizza or macaroni and cheese.  When he was offered a piece of pepperoni pizza recently he said, “Pizza is yucky to me.”
• However, he will gladly eat lettuce of all kinds, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, celery and lots and lots of fruit…
• …except blueberries.  He ate them when he thought they were grapes, but we let it slip that they were something different and now he removes them from his plate.
• He will only eat potatoes in fry or tot form.  This has always been the case.
• Porter now enjoys sunflower and pumpkin seeds.
• He and I both loveChobani Greek yogurt.  
• We also have been sharing bowls of popcorn lately.  Porter finds the popped kernels really fun to look at (and then eat.)

What Porter is Saying:

• Porter seems to have reached the non-stop-talking part of toddlerhood.  This is fascinating to me since I am a fairly quiet person.  He is saying all sorts of funny stuff these days–mostly because his imagination is going full-tilt.
• Porter has started referring to me and Aaron as “you guys.”  Pittsburgh hasn’t taken a hold of him yet since he isn’t calling us “yinz.”
• He likes to call things “cute” or “pretty.”
• He asks us for privacy during diaper changes if both parents are present.  All thanks to this book.
• After he has gone to bed, but has yet to fall asleep he likes to open his bedroom door to tell us things, such as “Mommy, kangaroo is sleeping.”
• Sometimes he will come to the bathroom door while I am in there.  He’ll knock and say, “Mommy, you in there?”  I will respond with yes. “Can I come in?”  I will ask him if he needs to or wants to try to use the potty.  He replies, “No, I just want to watch you.”  Great…
• Everyone is his “best friend” lately.  Even his toys.  ”This is my best friend Toby, the steam tram.”
• Restaurants are now referred to specifically as “food restaurants.”  Not sure why the change…

What Porter Likes These Days:

• “Cooking” in his kitchen
• Books
• Puzzles
• Pretending
• Dancing
• Singing
• Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood

What Porter Doesn’t Like These Days:

• Using the potty at home.

What Porter is Doing:

• Porter is creating long and involved imagined scenarios.  It is fascinating to witness–both by eyes and by ears!  I think I am going to write a post just about his imaginings.
• He is “reading” (and by reading I mean reciting word for word) books to us and to his stuffed animals.
• There has been lots of spontaneous dancing lately.
• Singing the theme song toMister Roger’s Neighborhood.

Porter knows that I paint things as part of my job.  For months now he has thought that I painted various pictures around our house–none of which I had actually painted.  And those pieces in our house that I actually did create, he didn’t believe that I had made them.  In fact it wasn’t until recently–the other night, in fact–that he finally realized that his mom had painted the fun paintings of animals in his room.

The following conversation transpired:

Porter:  (pointing to the paintings around his room) Mom, you paint those for me?

Me: Yeah, I did paint those for you.

Porter: Before I was boring?

Me: (Confused, I take a second to process what he just said.  Then I figure it out!)  Oh no, not before you were boring, buddy–before you were BORN!

The title of this post was actually created by my friend Karyn who said that she really enjoyed the What Porter is Saying portions of the monthly update posts.  She referred to his sayings as “Porterisms” and now here is an entire post devoted to just that.

As you know, I’ve been a bit behind in the blogging as of late so Porter has said A LOT of funny things in the last three months or so.  Here are the phrases I remember:

• The other night I was getting ready to go to work.  Aaron was in the kitchen.  Porter was in his room playing with his trains.  I heard Aaron start asking Porter about his day.  They were chatting back and forth when Porter interrupted Aaron: “It’s not funny, Dad!  NOT FUNNY AT ALL.”  But Aaron wasn’t laughing and made no reference to anything humorous, so we have no idea where that comment came from.  Porter keeps saying it–especially when he is getting scolded.  Last night, I sternly told him that it was inappropriate to squeal at the dinner table to which he responded very seriously, “It’s not funny at all.”
• Porter now likes to announce his bodily functions.  He will run into a room and say, “I pooped!” or “I pooping!” or “I peeing!”  It does not matter who is around or where we are, by the way.
• “Smiley Face Cookie House!”  That’s Eat N’ Park.
• “Star Store!”  That’s Macy’s.
• “Cay-ron”  That’s a crayon.
• “The M car.”  That’s our minivan.  It’s a Dodge and he think that the ram emblem makes an ‘M’ shape.
• He has entered the dreaded “Are we there yet?” phase.
• “Tea time.”  Though he definitely heard the term from some episode of Thomas and Friends, he actually isn’t referring to a late afternoon cuppa.  ”Tea time” is what is calls dusk or dawn.
• “Tea whistle!”–that’s what he says when he hears the tea kettle sound.
• “Take a break.”  Porter tends to get all wound up and over-excited at daycare, so his teachers frequently tell him to sit down and “take a break.”  Now he will tell himself to take a break while at home, particularly when he is on the verge of a Time Out.
• “I don’t want to know!”  Aaron and I were talking in the kitchen while I was making dinner some night last week.  We laughed and something and then we heard Porter chime in from the living room, “I don’t want to know!”
• “On time in two weeks!”  Honestly?  We don’t know what this means.  And he says it ALL the time.  He’s been saying it for at least six months!  Aaron and I have tried to figure it out…we know that being “on time” is something very important on Thomas and Friends.  The only thing we can come up with for the “two weeks” part is from the book The Very Hungry Caterpillar, in which the caterpillar stays in his cocoon for two weeks.  Why does he put the two things together?  Beats the heck out of us.  And we can’t even use context clues to help us figure it out because this phrase is usually surrounded by a rapid-fire string of toddler gibberish.  ”On time in two weeks!” is usually the only thing we can make out of the whole thing.  We hope to figure it out someday…

If you have enjoyed this post then you may want to check out HowToBeADad’s My Kid Just Said page on Facebook where parents can post the amazing, confusing, hilarious things that their children have said.  It is amazing.  Aaron and I have both laughed ourselves to tears while reading some of them–especially the “house carrots” one.  Enjoy!