Porter knows that I paint things as part of my job.  For months now he has thought that I painted various pictures around our house–none of which I had actually painted.  And those pieces in our house that I actually did create, he didn’t believe that I had made them.  In fact it wasn’t until recently–the other night, in fact–that he finally realized that his mom had painted the fun paintings of animals in his room.

The following conversation transpired:

Porter:  (pointing to the paintings around his room) Mom, you paint those for me?

Me: Yeah, I did paint those for you.

Porter: Before I was boring?

Me: (Confused, I take a second to process what he just said.  Then I figure it out!)  Oh no, not before you were boring, buddy–before you were BORN!

The title of this post was actually created by my friend Karyn who said that she really enjoyed the What Porter is Saying portions of the monthly update posts.  She referred to his sayings as “Porterisms” and now here is an entire post devoted to just that.

As you know, I’ve been a bit behind in the blogging as of late so Porter has said A LOT of funny things in the last three months or so.  Here are the phrases I remember:

• The other night I was getting ready to go to work.  Aaron was in the kitchen.  Porter was in his room playing with his trains.  I heard Aaron start asking Porter about his day.  They were chatting back and forth when Porter interrupted Aaron: “It’s not funny, Dad!  NOT FUNNY AT ALL.”  But Aaron wasn’t laughing and made no reference to anything humorous, so we have no idea where that comment came from.  Porter keeps saying it–especially when he is getting scolded.  Last night, I sternly told him that it was inappropriate to squeal at the dinner table to which he responded very seriously, “It’s not funny at all.”
• Porter now likes to announce his bodily functions.  He will run into a room and say, “I pooped!” or “I pooping!” or “I peeing!”  It does not matter who is around or where we are, by the way.
• “Smiley Face Cookie House!”  That’s Eat N’ Park.
• “Star Store!”  That’s Macy’s.
• “Cay-ron”  That’s a crayon.
• “The M car.”  That’s our minivan.  It’s a Dodge and he think that the ram emblem makes an ‘M’ shape.
• He has entered the dreaded “Are we there yet?” phase.
• “Tea time.”  Though he definitely heard the term from some episode of Thomas and Friends, he actually isn’t referring to a late afternoon cuppa.  ”Tea time” is what is calls dusk or dawn.
• “Tea whistle!”–that’s what he says when he hears the tea kettle sound.
• “Take a break.”  Porter tends to get all wound up and over-excited at daycare, so his teachers frequently tell him to sit down and “take a break.”  Now he will tell himself to take a break while at home, particularly when he is on the verge of a Time Out.
• “I don’t want to know!”  Aaron and I were talking in the kitchen while I was making dinner some night last week.  We laughed and something and then we heard Porter chime in from the living room, “I don’t want to know!”
• “On time in two weeks!”  Honestly?  We don’t know what this means.  And he says it ALL the time.  He’s been saying it for at least six months!  Aaron and I have tried to figure it out…we know that being “on time” is something very important on Thomas and Friends.  The only thing we can come up with for the “two weeks” part is from the book The Very Hungry Caterpillar, in which the caterpillar stays in his cocoon for two weeks.  Why does he put the two things together?  Beats the heck out of us.  And we can’t even use context clues to help us figure it out because this phrase is usually surrounded by a rapid-fire string of toddler gibberish.  ”On time in two weeks!” is usually the only thing we can make out of the whole thing.  We hope to figure it out someday…

If you have enjoyed this post then you may want to check out HowToBeADad’s My Kid Just Said page on Facebook where parents can post the amazing, confusing, hilarious things that their children have said.  It is amazing.  Aaron and I have both laughed ourselves to tears while reading some of them–especially the “house carrots” one.  Enjoy!

Can you believe that I haven’t done a monthly update since OCTOBER?!?  With my crazy work schedule, the holidays and then my grandfather’s passing I just let months slip by.  I have so much to tell you about!

P delivers a spirited rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" on Christmas Eve

What Porter is wearing:

• Size 2T shirts, but with a few 24 month shirts still in the mix.
• Mostly size 24 month pants with a few 2T pairs creeping in.
• Still in size 5 diapers.
• Would be in size 2T underwear if he let us put them on him

What Porter is eating:

• He is on a huge vegetable kick right now.  As always, raw vegetables ONLY.  I just can’t believe that a toddler can enjoy salad so much.
• Chicken use to be his favorite, but now it is hit or miss.
• His “on again/off again” relationship with wheat toast with peanut butter is back “on.”
• He still refuses typical toddler favorites such as pizza and macaroni and cheese.
• Spaghetti and meatballs use to be our “go to” food since we knew he loved it.  We were eating it once a week.  Now?  He could take it or leave it.  Depends on his mood.
• He likes olives now.  Green only, please.

What Porter is Saying:

• A lot.  So much, in fact, that a whole post is in the works solely devoted to what he says on a daily basis.

What Porter Likes These Days:

• Cuddling under “cozy blankets.”
• Books books books.
• Thomas Thomas Thomas.
• Timmy Time
• Puzzles!

What Porter Doesn’t Like These Days:

• Wearing his winter hat.  He’d rather wear his hood on his coat.
• Using the potty at home.

What Porter is Doing:

• Imagining.  In the last three months, his imagination has blossomed.  It is just amazing to watch him play and to play with him.  He likes to hide from “monsters” by sitting on his bed with the covers pulled over him.  He isn’t scared of the “monsters” or anything, he just thinks it is fun to hide from them!
• Having a “party”–which means he turns the overhead light on in his room and spins in a circle until he falls down laughing.
• Having a “kangaroo party.”  Same definition as above with the addition of him throwing his stuffed toy rabbit named Kangaroo up in the air.
• Cooking in his play kitchen that Santa brought him.  He only serves water and hot dogs at the moment.  And he keeps his eggs in the dishwasher.
• Playing trains!  Never gets old.
• “Reading” books.
• Hopping around on all fours pretending to be a frog.
• Running.  Always running…
• He can recognize his name and some words–like zoo and school.
• He likes to refer to himself by using his full name–first, middle, last.
• And…HE IS USING THE POTTY AT DAYCARE!!!  Not all day, but one time most days–sometimes more!

So I decided last week that as part of my fresh start to 2012 that I was going to leave Twitter.

I announced it on Twitter last week and a few people asked me why.  Well, I originally joined  Twitter in the summer of 2009 to help promote this blog and to connect to other parents who, like me, were new to this whole parenting thing.  At first it was fun and I “met” a lot of cool people and steadily gained a small following.

One weekend this past summer, I gained 800 followers in less than 48 hours.  It was crazy.  A lot of my new “followers” were definitely bots, but so many were attacking me that I just couldn’t keep up with reporting and blocking them all.  It was impossible.  I complained to Twitter support.  They suggested that I supply them with a list of all of the possible bot @names, BUT I couldn’t give them a screen shot–I had to type them all out or copy/paste them into an e-mail.  Um, ALSO IMPOSSIBLE.  So I blocked as many as I could but soon gave up.  It was a battle I couldn’t win.

Then I think because I was rapidly gaining followers I started to be featured as someone “Who You Should Follow” by Twitter.  Most recently I was listed in the “Who You Should Follow–Family” category with the likes of HowToBeADad, The Pioneer Woman, Dooce and celebrities.  I was flattered but mostly I was like, “What the–?!  I don’t even say anything important–like 20 people read my blog!”  So, because I was listed alongside all of these super cool people, the number of followers I had increased even more.

And then things started getting weird.

No one was really responding to what I had to say, but people were tweeting to me begging for follow backs, asking me to promote their website/book/music/project, telling me to find The Lord, imploring me to Buy American…the list goes on and on.  And those were the tweets I understood–I’m not even counting the tweets that were sort of gibberish or just contained a link.

Twitter was no longer fun.  I wasn’t connecting with people.  It became this whole other weird thing.

When explaining it to Aaron I likened my Twitter experience to a party.

At first, joining Twitter to me felt like having a few friends over to my house for a get together.  Just a handful of friends–we were just going to hang out and talk and have a few drinks and it was going to be pleasant and fun…no big deal.  But soon other people started arriving at my door.  Friends of friends showed up, and they were cool…but soon it was their friends.  And some neighbors.  Then some shady dudes from down the street…Suddenly things got loud and crowded and jerks were spilling drinks on my floor…

Soon Twitter felt like a raging kegger at my own house full of people I didn’t know.  The people I actually wanted to talk to weren’t around and instead I was trying to force my way through the crowds of loud, drunk people, throwing out the troublemakers.

Finally, with 53,000+ followers I hit the point of “THAT’S IT.  EVERYBODY OUT!  YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO HOME, BUT YOU CAN’T STAY HERE!”  

Too much BS, not enough real connection for me at the moment.  I have 30 days to reactivate my account, if I choose.  And I might do that, but for now I am absent from Twitter.

You can still find me on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest and of course, here!

After a very tough couple of months, I decided to take some time for myself to just chill out and spend time with my family which is why the blog has been “dark” since early December.  My grandfather lost his battle with cancer in mid-December and I took some time off from just about everything to just be.  I mourned his death, I mourned my parents’ divorce (which became official in mid-2011 but I never really allowed myself to feel anything about it.)  I was sad and tearful.  Not depressed, but just feeling a little empty.

Because we traveled to New York state a few times for memorial services and such, I decided that instead of traveling up there for the holidays that we should stay home and just have a quiet, low-key Christmas here.  We also decided that next year we will save up some money to spend the holidays with Aaron’s family in Florida which means that 2012 will mark Porter’s first trip on an airplane!

I think 2012 is going be a good year.  I worked hard in 2011 to establish myself in the Pittsburgh professional theatre scene and I think all of that work is shaping up to pay off this year.  Professionally, good things are coming along for both Aaron and me so we are just going to keep our heads down, keep working hard and with heart.

Our lease on this rental house is up at the end of July and we are considering moving to a different rental in a different part of the city.  We both would be happy to shave some time off our various commutes and if we can save money on rent at the same time then that would be super!  I have to admit that packing up and moving again–even just across town–is not necessarily something I am looking forward to, but it would be worth it to not spend so much time in the car.

So that is just a little taste of what 2012 may have in store for us!  I plan on getting back to blogging regularly again too.  I’ve missed it, but it was nice to have a break.  I hope that 2012 is good to all of you!  Enjoy!

Dearest Blog Readers,

I know you haven’t heard from me in about a month.  I’m so sorry.  Work got REALLY CRAZY.  It was tough.  It may have been my hardest gig ever.  But it is over now.  I thought I would have a few weeks to breathe.  Some time to just unwind and regroup–two things I need dearly.  Part of that unwind time was going to involve several, long-over-due blog posts…

…but…

My grandfather has been battling cancer for most of this year.  They found it in his lungs.  Then a few months ago found a tumor in his brain.  And now it is in his bones.  There are blot clots.  He is too weak for chemo.  Not much more can be done.

So I am going to New York to spend time with my grandfather and my dad.  I’ll leave in a few days.  I don’t know how long I will be staying, but this will be only the second time I have ever been away from Porter overnight.  Since he has been born I’ve only been away from him for a total of three days (one of those days was last week due to my crazy, overnight work schedule.)

Maybe I’ll have time for blogging later this month, but I just don’t know.  I miss you all so much.

Enjoy your holidays,

Lori

I don’t post videos much, mostly because I don’t record many videos.  However I did capture a few moments of Porter reacting to Aaron building Porter’s new bed.  When we told Porter he was getting a new Big Boy bed he shook his head and said he didn’t want a new bed.  You can see through these videos that he eventually changes his mind.

Some videos start in the wrong orientation, but it turns upright rather quickly.  Don’t be alarmed!

ROCK AND ROLL!

Over the summer we slowly started collecting new furniture for Porter’s room.  He is growing up so fast and it was apparent that the crib-converted-to-toddler-daybed just wasn’t going to cut it through the end of the year.  So we started shopping around for some new items as well as some “new to us” things to help makeover his room without breaking our already strained piggy bank.

First, we found a twin bed frame on craigslist for $40.  I painted it white.

I bought new Big Boy bedding 50% off at Target!   I got a few sets of sheets during the Labor Day sales at Kmart.

Another craigslist deal: we found an Ikea dresser for FREE–and it happened to match the Ikea nightstand I bought in ’05 when I was living in New Haven.  The dresser had a broken drawer glide, but Aaron fixed that.

Then we bought Porter a twin mattress for his new bed.  No box spring quite yet (it would make the bed a bit too tall for him right now.)

Finally, we bought a pretty sweet storage unit brand new from Ikea and storage bins from Target (itso bins fit PERFECTLY.)

Here are just a few photos of the new set up.  I actually took these photos before the room was completely finished, so no shots of the dresser yet–sorry.  (We’ve been super busy.)

We just recently got a fourth blue bin for the bottom shelf.

Porter LOVES his new room.  And since we are still working on potty training, we actually use the top of the storage unit as a changing table (with changing cushion.)  At the time I took this photo, the changing table was still in the room (since it was too heavy/awkward for me to remove from the room by myself.)

Next post: Porter helps to make his bed.

Okay first off, do you know how hard it is to talk about the potty to Porter and not accidentally say the word “port-a-potty”?  Ugh.  So difficult.  It honestly never crossed my mind when picking out his name.

But anyway…

Since Porter decided “Hey, this potty thing isn’t so bad!” every day has been different.  We haven’t pushed him; we’ve let him lead when, where and how long he wants to practice on his potty.  That means some days he doesn’t even look twice at the potty and that’s okay.  During the week we are only with him for an hour in the morning and then a few hours after daycare.  That leaves little time to really work with him on the potty.  However this past weekend, Porter wanted to sit and hang out on the potty whenever we were home.  He peed in the potty THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY on Saturday!

Needless to say we are very proud of Porter’s progress, but there have been a few things we’re getting use to.  Porter now likes to drop his pants, take off his diaper and sit on the potty for long periods of time.  He carries the potty around the house with him, diaperless, pants around his ankles, so he can do activities in other rooms.  He bellies up to his train table while on his potty.  He wanted to watch Daddy work on putting his new dresser together, so Porter set up shop in the dining room.  This potty migration means that Porter isn’t always situated on the potty when he “goes.”

Accidents happen.

But for the most part, things are progressing.  Onward and upward!  Or outward…?

For months I have been fretting over Porter’s lack of interest in the potty.  Pretty much every parent I know as well as his teachers at daycare told me not to worry, he is still young and there is still lots of time for him to become interested in being diaper-free.  We noticed that on his notes from daycare this week Porter was at least sitting on the potty four times a day most days of the week.  This was a change from two to three times on the potty three times a week.  Aaron and I were glad that his trips to the potty, even without “remnants” left behind, were growing in frequency.

Today I geared up to paint our bathroom.  The landlords had painted it a dark blue-green, which in my opinion didn’t go well with the 1970s mustard yellow tile on half the walls and floor.  I was happy to finally have the time to change it.  I cleared the small bathroom of its contents which means that Porter’s potty chair went in Porter’s room.  Porter’s potty had been in his room before, so I thought that he’d just sort of ignore it like he has been doing.

SO NOT THE CASE!

He walked right over to the potty and sat on it.  Something he hasn’t done at home IN MONTHS!

Aaron and I both exploded into applause and cheers.  There were hugs, kisses and lots of high-fives.  Porter LOVED the attention, so he sat on the potty again.  He got the same, very enthusiastic reaction.

And just like that, it happened.  Porter wanted to get to know the potty!

In the beginning of the afternoon, Porter was just sitting on the potty with his pants on.  But as the afternoon progressed, Aaron slowly worked with Porter and as I primed the bathroom (twice, ugh.)  Through lots of encouragement and songs made up on the spot, Aaron managed to teach Porter how to drop his pants then sit on the potty.  At one point as a show of solidarity, we all were pantless in Porter’s room at Porter’s request.

That’s what family is all about, right?  Supporting each other.  Even without pants.

We read a lot of book while he was on the potty, including The Big Boy Potty by Joanna Cole which Porter really, really likes.  It really is the perfect book for him right now.

Porter just couldn’t get enough of the potty and because he was so interested–for the first time EVER–we didn’t want to stop encouraging his behavior.  While I was still priming the bathroom, Aaron eventually got Porter to sit on the potty without a diaper.  This was a huge step for us.  There was lots and lots of cheering!

Then things took a turn we didn’t expect.

Now that Porter knew how and was encouraged to take his diaper off, he didn’t want to keep a diaper on.  He didn’t want underpants either.  We tried a swim diaper (because it was the closest thing to a pull-up we had) but that only confused him.  ”Swim trunks on?” he said.  As a result of no diaper, we did have one accident.  No pee in the potty though.  Later in the afternoon he peed in his diaper while sitting on the potty, but told us right afterward.

At one point in the afternoon he decided that he wanted to sit on the potty in the kitchen, so he dragged it from his room down the hall and planted the potty in the middle of the kitchen floor.  He sat there for quite some time.  He could have put the potty on the back porch for all we cared–we were just SO HAPPY that Porter was finally warming up to the potty!

We aren’t sure if today was a fluke or if Porter has finally entered this stage of Toddlerhood–but either way, it is rather exciting.  And we are praying that he keeps his pants and diaper on through the night!

I have to give a huge thank you to Aaron who did a great job both encouraging and entertaining Porter today–even though he was sick.  Thank you!  You did such a great job!

Have any good potty training advice or stories to share?  We’d love to hear it!